People who pay £12.95 to see a 3D film will now be enraged that they are losing out on eight dimensions.
Professor Emeritus Caracticus Crack explained that although we only perceive our surroundings in a three dimensional way, we’re too stupid to see the other ones:
“Some of the dimensions are the same and so cancel each other out but trust us, they are actually there. Don’t worry. It’s not your fault.”
Physicists at the University of Columbia made the discovery during the weekend.
Crack explained: “We were discussing quantum physics over some drugs and during the course of the evening, came to understand that space miasmically shifts in a sort of fractal bundle and that nebula are actually relatively flumpy in nature. We then realised that if we were really ginormous and walking past the observable universe, that it would move sidyways and kind of freak us out.”
Crack went on to say “I’d have to admit that I fail to see any practical use for this information whatsoever.”
However, co-discoverer Gregory Zappa-Fufkin-Jones disagrees.
“It’s all about perspective, Now, let’s say I was to stab you in the face with a large knife. You would only feel 27.272727272727 of the pain incurred. Which is in a way, a blessing.”
Professor Crack went on to say:
“When ordinary lay type people ask me to explain it, I just say ‘Remember those popular framed eagle hologram pictures from the 80’s that were popular in suburban households? Well the universe is a bit like that, only less tacky.’”.
Scientists will meet at a global summit on a Tuesday to discuss the ramifications.