Tony Blair Wins No Awards At Awards

Tony Blair won no awards at an awards ceremony in London last night. It has been reported that this may be a sign that things are ‘moving in the right direction’.

A rival awards ceremony organiser said

“It’s becoming more clear in the awards ceremony community, that Tony Blair is not welcome at awards. Tony Blair not winning an award last night is a promising step forward. Once people stop inviting him along then we can start thinking about arresting him for war crimes.”


The award, won by Captain Pugwash was accepted gracefully by the pirate. Pugwash stated this morning

“I watched it when I got home. You could see Tony Blair trying to keep smiling when he didn’t get the award but I could see acid dribbling out of his mouth. I actually think he’s a xenomorph.”

Master Bates, who was present with the captain at the ceremony was proud of his coworker’s achievements but was less forgiving of Blair’s presence.

“Who the fuck would invite Tony Blair to fucking anything? And I’m a cartoon pirate.”

No one is sure when and if the former prime minister will again be invited to an awards ceremony.


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